Why yes, I AM a nut. Film at 11, or consult Matt for details. But he’s not allowed to tell you ‘bout Atlantis.

Gnaeus Dexius, called ‘Cogitatus’, faced his sparring partner across the bridge of their shining gladii, and called to the dubious old men in their purple-trimmed robes, “You have seen the awesome potential of this weapon fired en masse upon the open field of battle, as a volley of ” he parried and pressed the advantage, “ arrows would have been in the past. Now you see…” he bound the gladiator’s blade with his own and pulled his pistolis from the leathern holster at his back. Its dark wood was burnished to a rich gleam, its fittings cast with a crude rendering of the regimental eagle. In the chamber, the ball lay, ‘SPQR’ stamped into its lead.

The shot ran around the circular walls of the palaestra, the slave’s confusion and consternation melted into dripping death, and a flight of birds made their hurried way to some other, calmer roof. Cogitatus stepped back, wiping the splatter from the barrel with a towel. ”...its usefulness in hand-to-hand engagement as well,” he finished. He looked eagerly at the many clean-shaved men, standing in various stages of sturdy old age, dissipated decrepitude, or waning prime. “How many workshops shall the Senate fund for the glory of Rome, gentlemen?” The men before him shuffled like a sheaf of papers in the wind, and exchanged looks.

“We shall see,” said Septimus Valerius in a kindly, avuncular manner. “We shall see, young Cogitatus. As you know, our great civilization births many wonders, and not all of them…is the world ready for.” The old men began to shuffle out, their sandals slapping loudly on the stones in the shocked silence.

“But…who cares what the world is ready for! The world is ours, or will be!”

A few senators tsked slightly, and they all filed out, leaving the shattered confusion of Cogitatus behind them.

Maybe continued someday…