Some time ago—at the beginning of July, in fact, you may recall Matt and I went to Grants Pass and Ashland, and among our activities in the area was wine tasting in the Applegate Valley. Our favorite winery from the trip was Wooldridge Creek Winery, a friendly, imaginative winery brimming over with good cheer, small children, and dogs. After a lot of indecision, we finally didn’t buy any wine on the spot, but pre-ordered a few varieties that had not yet been released.

Yesterday, UPS attempted to deliver the wine. We know this because I spotted the yellow InfoNotice on our door, and was rather alarmed to see “Adult Signature Required on Delivery! (package must be handed to recipient over 21)” circled emphatically upon it. As I wandered into the house wondering how any age-restricted materials ended up being sent to our mild-mannered selves, I suddenly remembered the wine. I was much relieved.

I turned my attention to the InfoNotice, and was irked to discover that the options for “Adult Signature required” were what you might call unfriendly to the working couple. You could not have it delivered to a neighbor (even did I know which of my neighbors did not work and feel comfy asking them), and you could not sign to have them leave it on the stoop (doubtless for the protection of vino-seeking gangs of neighborhood toddlers). Having never had any success in the past convincing a courier service to alter the destination address on file, I assumed we couldn’t have them deliver it to either workplace. Apparently my qualms in this regard, founded as they were upon the behavior of FedEx, have no place in a consideration of UPS’s policies. Upon calling the InfoNotice line, a panoply of choices were presented to me, including changing the address. I had it delivered to work.

So this afternoon as I sat at my desk, feeling the gnawing presentiments of lunch, I received a call from the nerve center of Shipping & Receiving. “Umm, I have a package here for you,” she said cautiously.

“Oh, yes, I told Stan [the hands and feet of Shipping & Receiving] about that.”

“Well, it says ‘DON’T RELEASE TO INTOXICATED PERSONS’, so I’m going to have to Breathalyze you first!”

I laughed, and headed on over in the sun, plotting the blog rant that has now been postponed. As I performed my usual act of laziness by skipping the concrete ramp up to the building in favor of one huge concrete step, I miscalculated, stubbed my toe, and fell clumsily across the concrete stoop. Having managed to distribute the hurt across several toes, a skinned knee, a bruised hip, and both hands, I seemed more injured in pride than body, and I took a quick glance at the roofers across the way to make sure they weren’t laughing. Ruefully, I hobbled into Shipping and eyed the box of wine. “Maybe you shouldn’t let me have that, after all,” I said….