I bring you these wise words from our Presidedent. They are sponsored by “They Misunderestimated Me! The Very Curious Language of George W. Bush”, a daily calendar we have at work. I dislike this calendar, because it depresses me and makes me inch closer to an ulcer before the age of 30.

Sometimes I want to be this guy’s English teacher so much I swear he must hear a spectral voice saying, “George! One more spitball and I’ll have you doing double spelling homework this week! I don’t care who your father is!” Most of these quotes are on the comprehension/American History and Government side though.

Without further ado:

• “Education is not my top priority—education is my top priority.”
• “They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it’s some kind of federal program.”
• “The role of government is to create an environment that encourages Hispanic-owned businesses, women-owned businesses, anybody-kind-of-owned businesses.”
• “The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war.”