Today’s not great so far. I have to track down an AWOL seamstress and get my bridesmaid dress from her in time to fly out of PDX at 1 AM tomorrow morning, and against my better judgment I ended up trying to rent a car for our wedding-related trip to Cleveland.
It turns out that, preconceptions and Real Life to the contrary, I am legally allowed to rent a car, at least in the Buckeye State. It’s just that every rental company under the sun (that allows 21- 24-year-olds to rent, that is) charges a daily premium of more than the daily car rental for the unconscionable sin of being under 25 years of age. I understand the statistical reasons for this, but that doesn’t stop it being really horrifying that they more than double their fees for the demographic most likely to be unable to pay such fees! Maybe they could put a check-box after “Underage driver”: “I do solemnly aver that I am not a complete and utter imbecile animated only by hormones and the desire for alcohol.” If you check the box, they waive the fee. If you prove otherwise, they run you over in a Navigator and remove you from the gene pool. Sounds good to me.
Hell, maybe they should require that checkbox for people of all ages. And if Death-by-Navigator seems too extreme, maybe we could just have them pay $25 a day for endangering us by living. Rasserframmit.
Comments
Youngster
You might want to join AAA and use their discounts—or contact your insurance agency and see if they can help you out. Also, I believe if you rent from a non-airport car rental place you might get a better deal, but I haven’t looked in Cleveland.
Hope the wedding is beautiful, and you enjoy!
As for death by Navigator, sounds like a good punishment to me. If you want to make sure it’s appropriate, I’m sure I could find some test subjects.
Re: Youngster
We used to have AAA—at least for Enterprise, it’s only 5% off. Apparently Matt let it lapse.
I guess we’re just going to have to rely on the kindness of fellow guests and so forth. At least I’m the MoH, which means they have to drag me around :)
renting...
I had to rent a car by necessity once before my twenty-fifth birthday. I was driving 800 miles to see my fiancee for HER birthday, and my car blew up a little more than halfway through the trip. I was in the middle of Missouri, a god-forsaken state. Or so I thought. Some people at a small auto dealership were kind enough to stay open for me and actually rent me a brand new Malibu off of their lot. They felt sorry for my predicament, apparently. As there were no other options available, I had to take it.
I wound up putting over 600 miles on that car; driving the rest of the way to Kansas City, arranging for another vahicle, then returning it to Missouri Valley. I cringed but figured I was going to be practically raped; they had me over a barrel, and we both knew it.
I dropped off the keys, told the lady of my drive to Kansas city and that I again appreciated them staying open to rent me a new car off of their lot. I asked her what I owed, and without even checking the car, she got a twinkle in her eye and said in a slightly southern drawl,
“Well, I think $30 oughta cover it!”
Needless to say I almost kissed her. I used to hate Missouri; but I swore on that day that I’d become fantastically wealthy and set up a trust fund for that little town.
Missouri Valley may not look like much, but it has a huge heart.
Re: renting...
Oops. Iowa, I mean. It was Iowa. Nothing against the state of Missouri, but I’ve always hated driving through Iowa.
Missouri Valley in IOWA has a big heart.
And good luck on your trip!