I shouldn’t think about the thrill of movement and sound and accomplishment when I hit a great shot off the tee. I shouldn’t linger pleasurably on the strategic decisions, remember fingering the clubs as if they hold clues. I shouldn’t remember the joy when I was the only one on my team to chip that ball out of that bunker. I shouldn’t remember even the drive into the drink with pleasure, because I made a bold decision and, novice that I am, came only a yard from making it pay off. I shouldn’t warm myself with pride over my improvement over 18 holes.
I always thought golf was a warm-weather disease, endemic in my maternal relatives only because of the pleasure of rambling around outdoors in [It’s the Climate!|text|Grants Pass]. This theory was utterly disproved by the ravenous golf habit of sister sledge’s husband, who lives somewhere with far more annual rainfall than Portland. Since I’d never played, I couldn’t really tell you where the appeal lay, but now I can. It’s in the interplay of mind and body, planning and execution. It’s a very rich, thoughtful sort of sport, one where you can take a little time to do it right. My resistance to its siren song is not improved by an evident genetic predisposition. I keep polishing the impressed words “natural swing” in my mind. How can I resist if it’s my heritage and destiny?
Heaven help me, I even kind of understand Mr. Sledge’s love of golf balls. Words cannot describe my sorrow when my last one emblazoned with a logo I designed went, however gloriously, into the water.
So, where do we go from here? I can’t afford you, golf. You’re expensive, demanding, consuming, and I’ve heard you even make people get up early sometimes. I cannot afford you and your shiny clubs, your sleeves of dimpled darlings, your greens fees and your cart rental. I can’t afford to love you, golf, but I’m not sure, after such a first date, that I can stay away.
Comments
The joy of improvement
If you like technical sports, you might want to take a jab at alpine skiing, once winter approaches. It’s probably a lot cheaper, although you do need some equipment, and you’ll see some very fast improvement when you’re a beginner. And I promise it’ll make your heart race. :o)
Re: The joy of improvement
Hrm…somehow I’m guessing that downhill skiing would not give me time to ponder and make sure I do it right ;) More seriously, last time I RAN in cold weather, my breathing hurt for the next day. I’m not sure my asthma could cope with alpine sports. :(
Why are all sports ideally suited to Central Oregon? Both golf AND skiing are things my Pop has taken up since retirement (and fly-fishing, too!)
Rowing
So you should get into rowing. All the majesty of golf and tennis with actual physical activity. It’s fantastic and very upper crust.
Speaking of Golf Balls
Gotta watch those golf balls – they are deadly things! I recently cared for a patient whose jaw had been shattered by a golf ball. He was just driving down the road, minding his own business, window down, enjoying the beauty of a hot summer day in the PNW, when a golf ball came flying out of nowhere and completely ruined his plans for the rest of the summer.
I doubt, somehow, that he would share your enthusiasm. :)
Re: Rowing
blank stare Brunslo, golf and tennis have STRATEGERY. There can’t be that much STRATEGERY in rowing, or you couldn’t get people to do it by chaining them to an oar and beating a drum! :P
Re: Speaking of Golf Balls
Ach! That’s horrible! Whilst I was golfing, I noticed that the golf course (Heron Lakes, on the East Side) occasionally had planes making a lot of noise as they came in for landings at PDX—and trains rattling by, and I thought ‘good use for land with industrial nuisances like that that would distress residents.’ I guess that’s another one!
I have seen some golf courses with driving-range style curtains…one hopes that makes golfing less of a gamble with someone’s health :(
Re: Rowing
If you chained me to a golf club and beat a drum, I’d probably play golf.
Re: Rowing
While this is a good thing to bear in mind should I ever try to get you to golf, I doubt you would golf WELL under such duress. Certainly not well enough to dominate the Mediterranean with golf-galleys full of your ilk!