I have rationalized my love of catty sites such as Go Fug Yourself by claiming that I, the most non-celebrityish person in the world, never go farther than the mailbox with my hair unbrushed, and would never go to the video store in a wrinkled bedroom sheet and Uggs, to name just one celebrity fugsemble.

However, my faith in my own grooming standards has been shaken. I not only failed to lint-roll the layer of tabby cat-hair accents from my black sweater before heading out today, but I just discovered that I have been in public for half an hour with a blob of Malt-o-Meal hot cereal dried onto the tip of my nose. Even Britney Spears would be appalled.