Having pioneered the giving thanks for small, petty blessings trend, I’m introducing the “Already Slightly Shopworn Year’s Itsy-Bitsy Resolutions.” We can call them “As Is Resolutions,” or “realistic.”

I hereby resolve to submit a story (already written, editted, formatted, and addressed) to a magazine (already chosen for the purpose, its guidelines read, its address printed on an envelope somewhere, a self-addressed postcard already prepared) this weekend. Why in the world this little task (forestalled by my move to the new house) has so long remained undone, is a question easily answered by Psych 101. However, even though the printed envelope is lost, my paranoia will insist I reread the submission guidelines, and I will once again need to find, obsess over, stamp, and trim a postcard to include, I will do this this weekend. If I have not done this by Monday, I entreat you all to castigate me heartily. In return, if you have any weeny little resolutions to make, I will upbraid you if you don’t do them. Deal?

Update: It’s sitting in the mail tray to go out. No castigation required.