Absent-minded confesser

Tuesday June 14, 2005 @ 11:52 PM (UTC)

I think I’m getting old before my time. Evidence:

  • Amount of time spent discussing comfortable shoes with mother in past three days: 17 minutes
  • Estimated price of groceries (frozen lunches, yogurt, etc.) accidentally left on counter to spoil on way to work in morning in the past three months: $20
  • Number of prescription drugs in purse this morning: 4
  • Estimated number of times exclaimed ‘Heaven to Betsy’ in past three months: 36
  • Number of chapsticks mislaid in past three days: 3
  • Estimated number of times bookbag or other item left in car upon reaching work, cubicle on leaving work, friend’s apartment upon leaving, et cetera, in past three months: 10

If we take these highly scientific figures and add them to my natural age (24+17+20+4+36+3+10), we discover that I am 114 in absent-minded decrepit old-fashioned years. No wonder I keep doubling back to check that I locked the car and counting my parcels before leaving a ladies’ room.

Comments

It’s called your mid-twenties. BTW, the most egregious here is the “heavens to Betsy.” John Kerry said that. I cringed. Don’t remind me of that.

Maybe he heard that I say it (perhaps via my Felicity-swearing blogget and figured it was hip and young.

I also say ‘heavens to Murgatroyd’

Dagnabbit.

I has enough heft and is oddly satisfying. Especially if you come down hard on the ‘g’ and pause a bit between the first and second syllable.

Ooooh, that IS a good one. It makes me feel vaguely cartoony if I say it, which is not an entirely bad thing, as it alleviates one’s anger with a sense of the ridiculous!

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