I think I’m getting old before my time. Evidence:
- Amount of time spent discussing comfortable shoes with mother in past three days: 17 minutes
- Estimated price of groceries (frozen lunches, yogurt, etc.) accidentally left on counter to spoil on way to work in morning in the past three months: $20
- Number of prescription drugs in purse this morning: 4
- Estimated number of times exclaimed ‘Heaven to Betsy’ in past three months: 36
- Number of chapsticks mislaid in past three days: 3
- Estimated number of times bookbag or other item left in car upon reaching work, cubicle on leaving work, friend’s apartment upon leaving, et cetera, in past three months: 10
If we take these highly scientific figures and add them to my natural age (24+17+20+4+36+3+10), we discover that I am 114 in absent-minded decrepit old-fashioned years. No wonder I keep doubling back to check that I locked the car and counting my parcels before leaving a ladies’ room.
Comments
welcome to the club
It’s called your mid-twenties. BTW, the most egregious here is the “heavens to Betsy.” John Kerry said that. I cringed. Don’t remind me of that.
Re: welcome to the club
Maybe he heard that I say it (perhaps via my Felicity-swearing blogget and figured it was hip and young.
I also say ‘heavens to Murgatroyd’
My favorite (non)swear word
Dagnabbit.
I has enough heft and is oddly satisfying. Especially if you come down hard on the ‘g’ and pause a bit between the first and second syllable.
Re: My favorite (non)swear word
Ooooh, that IS a good one. It makes me feel vaguely cartoony if I say it, which is not an entirely bad thing, as it alleviates one’s anger with a sense of the ridiculous!