I think I’ll blame Disney for this. Disney has made millions of dollars by parlaying successful films and characters into ‘experiences’, and the musical versions of The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast are essentially Disney experiences that range around the country instead of staying in one place exerting gravitational pull on children and wallets.

But The Lord of the Rings needed a musical? Good God in Heaven. Only incredible composition makes Les Misérables work as a musical (and it barely does, if you’ve read the book), and it, at least, has a deeply personal story at its core, with epic elements draped around it. All seven volumes of The Lord of the Rings in one play? And they’re surprised it’s getting bad reviews?

Sheesh, people. If you crave epic Ring musicals that much, get your Wagner on.