Help me out here

Friday August 29, 2003 @ 11:17 AM (UTC)

I like to play the roleplaying game Exalted. When I can’t play it, I like to wish I was playing it, and discuss it over on the forums. One supplemental volume for the game, which allows you to play an Undead Thing with kewl gear and 133+ powerz (as opposed to a Shining Hero with k.g. and 1.p.) is Exalted: the Abyssals.

A lot of discussion about this book centers around the cover:

Many people coughfanboyscough claim to have bought this book ($30 hardback!) SOLELY because the cover-girl, Maiden of the Mirthless Smile, is hot.

My problem? I don’t think she’s hot! She’s kind of blurry, her face is undead vanilla, the shoes AND the gloves say “clown” to me… is it just the big sword coupled with the “mammaries of death”? I’d just like some honest opinions from my readers here. I won’t judge you, squirt you with holy water, or drive a wooden stake through your heart. Scout’s Honor.


Hot? No. In a word: eww.

For one thing, the ash-gray zombie skin just doesn’t do it for me. For another, she’s got no fashion sense whatsoever. And to top it all off, her boobs look about as soft and cuddly as two basketballs with nipples. Maybe it’s just me, but I like women who are soft and squeezable, not rock hard leatherbound zombies with basketballs for breasts.

I’m kinda with you there. Spherical boobs are not really a plus. She has nice legs, but really, I don’t think the cover art justifies the $30 expense.

Now the book itself, mind you (which I own), is a quality piece of work. While actually playing Abyssal Exalted seems a bit disturbing to me, from the standpoint of a Storyteller (which I am, every Monday night), it’s great stuff. Lots of info on the history of the world, anthropological info on how death and the dead are treated in different regions, and quite a bit of potential for spine-chilling bad guys.

Thank you for your support of the “Maiden of the Mirthless Smile is not hot” club!

And yeah, I actually think upon further reflection that the shoes and gloves are closer to “mime” than clown. I mean, Undead Mime Princess. shudder

Cartoonish is the word that springs into my mind – as opposed to “hot”. Her whole posture reminds me of a “Saturday Night Fever” contestant more than someone with evil martial arts powers. The hands are exceptionally badly renedered and according to the laws of physics I’m familiar with, the mere weight of the humongous blade should make her fall backwards. And what’s with the puffy sleeves, anyway?

While I have no problem with firm boobs and ditto buttocks, I have to agree with Ryan that overly large, firm boobs (too much silicone) might be a tad disturbing.

The iced princess look is okay, and perhaps even the weird hair dyeing and kiss-inspired make-up. It’s hard to see a smile on her face, though. Is there one?

You guys know how I just hate to be contrary. You also know how much I hate to be the voice of reason. That is why it pains me to say that you are all wrong on your opinions in this matter. You have chosen to dismiss this person on looks alone and not character. For all we know Ms. Smile is a nice well meaning Maiden of Mirthless with a happy small dog and parents who care for her greatly. So what if she had younger and feistier years? If you had a body like that wouldn’t you? I doubt those are her own clothes. This has all the tell-tale signs of a Glamour Shots fiasco written all over it. I bet the soft-light is what gives her skin that sallow “I’m deader than you are” vibe. All I’m saying is that as a single white male in this day and age of J-Lo booty I’m willing to get to know the person behind the giant sword and HH breasts before I pass judgement. I mean, would I really want anyone to pass judgement on me based on looks alone? I rest my case.

Apparently there is a smile, and apparently the face is prettier than that pic implies (according to Matt, who owns the book.)

Here is a picture which appeared as interior art, and, I think, makes her look better. However, zee fanboys, zey like zee cover art.

the person behind the giant sword and HH breasts

The Voice of Reason’s preoccupations are succinctly revealed.

I believe that brings us to 4 against and 1 for. Looks like only Brunslo is up for a date with the Maiden.

You know, if I had to do without for more than a week, I wouldn’t turn her down. That is all.

That’s very…ambiguous. I don’t know for sure how to count that.

While the interior rendering is more dangerous looking - which is more appropriate to a Dusk caste Abyssal Exalt - I think the cover art has a pretty face. The features are small and cute. The ears bug me though. They and the hands are much better in the interior art.

Really, my objections to the cover art are the mamaries of death, the hands (red gloves included), and the strange pose. It would be better if she were actually holding the sword in an attack position, rather than just leaning it against her shoulder.

Ok. 1st off… If you bought the book just because of the Maiden of Mirthless smile you are a retard. I have known people that bought, “The Book of Nod” just because, “it was like, the vampire bible”. All of those people need a big reality check (and have too much money to waste). 2nd… The Maiden of the Mirthless Smile IS hot. Any of you who say otherwise are either preppy idiots, or homo’s. Let’s face it people, the sun causes skin cancer and blondes with tan’s are dumb. SO! Goth chicks R HOT. This is simply a fact of life. Thank you come again.

I absolutely love her outfit, and I love the death sketcher shoes. I think she is hot, and Im a girl, and i know good fashion when i see it. men know nothing about cool shoes. Slutty heels say clown a lot more then those shoes do.

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