Experiment

2008-07-18T11:15:07+00:00

Yesterday I undertook to count cars that turned without using their turn signals. I thought I’d count until I saw just one that DID use the signal. I was extremely – one might even say over- – scrupulous, for I ignored the six or seven cars who appeared not to use their signals but could conceivably have blinked once or twice at the beginning or end of their turn without my seeing. Only turning, not merging, was considered. I also gave a pass to cars turning into parking spaces, just to be expansively generous.

So, having let so many fish escape my net, how many cars did I see IN A ROW turn without using their signals? NINE.

NINE. No wonder I write sarcastic rants about the signal use in the Valley. And let’s not get into how many people actually look both ways before turning onto a busy street.

Eldritch lights

2008-03-22T00:17:27+00:00

Now, as we all know, this web-footed fairye is currently kickin’ it down California-way. California is, as movies and Mickeys like to remind us, a magical place. As such, things are a little different down here. Things like cars.

Within a few minutes of passing into the domain of Califia, your car acquires Multipurpose Magic Spell Lights or MMSLs. Depending on the make of car, the location of the controls vary, but they usually take the form of a wand attached to the steering wheel. This wand only has a few directions of mobility, but since it is magically contextual, that doesn’t matter.

A FEW USES FOR YOUR Multipurpose Magic Spell Lights
(for Oregonians and others who may not understand)

If you are merging (and when aren’t you?) and you see a car where you would like to be, activating the MMSL will transport this car into a parallel dimension, allowing you to safely enter the freeway or expressway precisely where that vehicle previously rolled.
While you are bombing down the freeway, happily ensconced in a lane, activate the MMSL to daze surrounding drivers, causing them to take their feet off the gas and lose precious moments.
At any time at all, activate both MMSLs at once with a special Ultrasecret Button Control in order to make yourself the center of attention. All the other drivers will stare at you, and you will know that you are one seriously cool dude.

In short, there are no shortage of valid uses for the MMSL. Just, whatever you do, do NOT attempt to use the MMSL to communicate your intentions to other drivers, especially in high-speed lane changes, all-way stops, or other potentially dangerous situations. The MMSL is an eldritch force beyond human reckoning, and should NOT be abused just because some other drivers want to use the roads as well. Treasure your MMSL, and recharge it once in a while by honking at people who stop at red lights before turning right. Traffic magic is a renewable resource!

Posts tagged with "turn signal" - Faerye Net

Experiment

Eldritch lights