Posts tagged with "health" - Faerye Net

A genealogy of sneezes

2010-10-02T20:43:31+00:00

I’ve been thinking about sneezing lately. Mostly because I’ve been sneezing so much today I can barely finish a sentence. Either our landlords’ bamboo only flowers every seven years and gives me seven years’ worth of pollen allergies, or crawling out of my comfortable hobbit hole to attend social functions has given me a cold.

Anyhow, this sneezing has made me reflect. I myself have what I jokingly term the Atomic Sneeze (best restrained with ruby quartz face masks, à la Cyclops). It is extremely loud, and my poor sensitive-eared companion Ryan complains bitterly about it. (He kept covering his ears when we watched TV tonight, and eventually I saw him building acoustic barriers out of sweatshirt.) I keep telling him it could be even worse, and my sister’s sneeze is proof. Of course, since she isn’t allergic to everything on Earth except water and mold, few witnesses can back me up on this. My paternal grandfather’s sneeze was even more prodigious than my sister’s and mine, and my usual joke is that if he sneezed like that while he was in the Army, his comrades probably hit the deck.

Of course, it could be even worse: on my maternal side, my relatives seem to sneeze in consistent numbers. My grandma sneezes in the same pattern every time — I think it’s five sneezes? Of course, they’re such cute little noises that they’re quieter than a cat sneezing. Other family members appear to sneeze in threes, et cetera. I think Ryan should just be glad the two traits haven’t been mixed, because even a double-barrel of this noise could destroy our block, and five at a time would doom the entire city. Or at least give me whiplash.

Shaking hands is illogical

2009-10-22T22:58:41+00:00

I’m going to the World Fantasy Convention in San Jose this month. I’m excited. My mom isn’t though, because she’s worried about her offspring traveling and picking up the dread H1N1. While I try to allay her influenza fears as much as I can in general, I can see her point here. One of the main things you do at conventions is meet people. And here in America, when we meet, we mostwise shake hands.

I’ve seen some people try to sidestep the handshake this year, but it’s difficult. You have to explain why you don’t want to shake, and some people take it personally. You’re basically deleting a major social ritual that communicates goodwill. It’s in the fabric of our culture, and it’s hard to rip out.

That’s where my idea comes in.

You see, at science fiction conventions, people share far more than a single culture. Even if you hate Star Trek, if you’re at a sci-fi con, you’re going to understand the gesture and its meaning. It fills the void left by handshaking. It doesn’t insult the recipient — most of us would love to live long and prosper — and hey, if you’re worried someone will think you’re a geek, you’re in the wrong place.

I’d love to go to World Fantasy and Orycon this year and see people keeping their hands germ-free and their greetings classic and cordial, so if you think this is a good idea, please pass it along!

Here are some tools you can use:

Images (as seen above, all .png format)

Small image (207 pixels square, 19K)
Medium-sized image (413 pixels square, 50K)
Large image (825 pixels square, 146K)

Flyers (.pdf format, image plus “Shaking hands is illogical.”)

Feel free to use these images and flyers under Creative Commons Noncommercial-Share Alike. Please link back here if you post derivative works online. (If you make a pin, flyer, or other offline derivative work, you don’t have to mess it up with my info. I’ll live!) Thanks to my dad for his photograph, and his hand.

Live long and prosper this flu season!

The Return of Wanda?

2004-10-11T09:32:54+00:00

My recent silence, good readers, has been a result of my recent struggle with a bad cold. The symptoms wax and wane in a most confusing manner, as does, seemingly, the effectiveness of Tylenol Cold, and this morning I awoke husky and low-voiced.

It is not, as yet, a truly disturbing transformation. I am, at worst, an alto. (No offense to altos!) However, the shape of Wanda floats in the offing, inspiring me with dread, like unto Marley’s Ghost in the Muppet Christmas Carol…

Fear me! For I am the Voice of Wanda!

2004-05-07T12:56:26+00:00

I’m getting over my wee bug. The fever was gone in the morning Wednesday…the sore throat faded Wednesday night, and was largely replaced with some coughs and what I call The Muppet Voice of Doom! It is a reedy tenor with a distinct croaking quality. I feel, when I speak, that I am Kermit the Frog’s funky cousin Wanda, from the wrong side of the swamp. I envision a mottled frog-muppet with mis-matched gigantic earrings and a moth-eaten colorful hat. She carries a large carpet bag and gives out foul-tasting cough drops to children, pretending they’re sweets. Then she laughs at the faces they make.

The voice is improving as time goes on — I’m back at work today, despite the voice and the occasional cough. But heed my words and fear me, people, for I am the Voice of Wanda!