http://faerye.net/tag/future 2006-11-27T21:43:09+00:00 Felicity Shoulders http://faerye.net/ http://faerye.net/post/hello-mr-yukkamoto-and-welcome-back-to-the-gap 2006-11-27T21:43:09+00:00 2008-06-08T12:25:31+00:00 <p>In my capacity as a Queequeg&#8217;s Qoffee Qasa crew member, I have to comply with certain dress codes. Confusingly, I am neither required nor allowed to have extensive facial tattoos &mdash; however, I am required to tuck in my shirts.</p> <p>In this age of low waistlines, this presents a problem, but as we are allowed to have an auxiliary tucked-in shirt under our primary shirt, not an insoluble one. Knowing my need, friend Grizelda recently gave me a hot tip: the Gap&#8217;s camisoles come in a longer, more tunic-like edition in their Gap Maternity section. Pursuant to this intelligence, I purchased two such garments and paid for them with (yes, I have one, deal) my Gap store credit card.</p> <p>A week later, I was surprised to see the usual Gap e-mail (I opted in so as to scoop the sales) in my inbox, but with a cryptic subject. &#8220;The perfect outfit for your special day!&#8221; What special day? The message made it clear: my&#8230;baby shower. I bought two camisoles and now the Gap thinks I&#8217;m pregnant. I&#8217;ll be interested to see if they swap me back to Gap Women in a few months, or try to sell me baby clothes. </p> <p>There are many futures, and Philip K. Dick is their prophet.</p>