Posts tagged with "wheel of time" - Faerye Net 2003-06-24T11:16:47+00:00 Felicity Shoulders An open letter to Clark Kent 2003-06-24T11:16:47+00:00 2009-04-20T23:17:18+00:00 <p>Circa Season Finale, 2003<p><br /> <br /> Mr. Clark Kent<br /> 24 Ubermensch Road<br /> Smallville KS<br /> <br /> Dear Clark;<br /> <br /> I have been following your adventures with some interest. Recently, I sympathized with your desire not to conquer the world as allegedly destined. However, I have been increasingly dismayed at the methods you are employing to avoid that fate.<br /> <br /> Apparently in your search for role models as &#8220;foundling farm boy with phenomenal cosmic powers is destined to conquer the world,&#8221; you have lit upon Rand al&#8217;Thor as the chap to emulate. This is the only explanation I can posit from your decision to estrange everyone you care about &#8220;so they don&#8217;t get hurt,&#8221; including the several girls wooing you, and your decision to hare off by yourself with no plan and a backpack full of angst. Besides the fact that this behavior qualifies you as a wooly-headed lummox of the first water, and thus eligible for the Clue-by-4&#8482; (now with Kryptonite inlay) treatment, if you&#8217;ll read a bit further (I know it&#8217;s a bit heavier going than 18-page comic books) you&#8217;ll find your role model IS conquering the world with cosmic powers and iron fist. Duh, Mr. Kent.<br /> <br /> If you must emulate someone, might I suggest drawing upon your &#8220;farm boy with special powers and heroic destiny has a &#8216;dead father&#8217; who nonetheless speaks to him and urges him toward evil&#8221; archetype and get yourself a glowy sword.<br /> <br /> Most Sincerely,<br /> Felicity<br /> <br /> P.S. You are not going to get hot Lana-and-Chloe action, let alone hot Lana-Chloe-and-Wonder-Woman action, so if that&#8217;s why you&#8217;re pulling a Rand, give it up.