Posts tagged with "monster" - Faerye Net 2004-07-26T17:07:14+00:00 Felicity Shoulders Lucid Dream Experiment #6 2004-07-26T17:07:14+00:00 2010-08-03T11:20:18+00:00 <p>Okay, I&#8217;m not entirely certain I&#8217;ve had five attempts at lucid dreaming before. But it&#8217;s as good a number as any. One of my English teachers in high school told me that his wife (another beloved English teacher) dreamt lucidly all the time. &#8216;You can train yourself to do it,&#8217; said he, &#8216;Every time you realize you&#8217;re dreaming, you try to take control&#8212;trying to fly is a good way of doing it&#8212;and it gets easier over time.&#8217; The possibilities bloomed before me. My own personal Holodeck, I thought! (Yes, I am a geek) Endless fun and risk-free adventure, I thought! So whenever I remember, I go to sleep thinking about remembering I&#8217;m dreaming&#8230;(I don&#8217;t remember to think this often) and whenever I realize I&#8217;m dreaming and don&#8217;t immediately wake up, I try to fly. </p><P>I&#8217;ve had severely limited success. Once, I felt I was flying, but I couldn&#8217;t both fly and open my eyes. Most times I have just hopped frustratedly about. Occasionally I think I&#8217;ve managed to fly a few feet, only to be grounded again as soon as I alight for any purpose.</p> <p>Last night, I had a perfectly ridiculous dream. I was gaming with Matt, Wonko, Lissell, Bedrick, and Grizelda (as far as I can remember and as far as dreams have static cast.) I heard someone trying to get into the house (something I <a href="">fear</a>). I hoped it was just a noise, but I looked out the glass sliding door, and I saw a big brown bear! (Yes, griz, I dreamt about a bear. Your ursine nightmares are catching.) He was scratching the glass door, then trying to shoulder it open. He failed.</p><p>&#8220;You think you&#8217;re safe in there,&#8221; he said, or words to that effect, &#8220;but&#8221; (and this part I recall quite clearly) &#8220;I have a Potion of Enlargement!&#8221; (have I mentioned I&#8217;m a big geek?) The bear dug in a belt at his waist, and glugged down a vial. Immediately, he grew, his glossy brown coat expanding like a balloon, and his normal bear-face growing flatter and dome-browed. He looked a strange and mythic bear, his eyes in vast orbital ridges like the curves of paint in a Coastal Tribe painting&#8230;and he threw his great bulk against the door he almost blotted out.</p> <p>&#8220;Call the people who deal with these things!&#8221; someone said.</p> <p>&#8220;Who would that be?&#8221;</p> <p>&#8220;The Monster Department?&#8221; I queried, and we set about calling the Monster Department. But lo! Halfway through our phonecall, the bear disappeared from our worries (and therefore the stage), as I looked out my window into the park (now separating my house from a large industrial building, not more houses) and saw a 12-foot tall Godzilla walk into it!</p><p>Godzilla was grey, and very old-school and rubber-suitly. He stamped on some toy cars left in the park, and waded out into the pond. We informed the Monster Department just as he grew to near-conventional sizes and began laying waste to the industrial building which was, of course, full of Japanese people. (I promise, I&#8217;ve never even seen an old-school Godzilla movie.)</p> <p>We were very frightened, and whenever people left the industrial building they were crushed or eaten, so we were nervous about leaving our house. As we discussed this, Godzilla&#8217;s head loomed up behind the grey building, larger than a hill, and he said, &#8220;If you leave I&#8217;ll kill you!&#8221;, reinforcing the threat by stretching an arm across the lake to tap at the window. Suddenly my friend Kug (EAKugler hereabouts) was beside me and he smiled a smile of superior geek knowledge.</p> <p>&#8220;He can kill us without even touching us,&#8221; he said importantly.</p> <p>Suddenly, Wonko, Grizelda and I were outside, in the woods, observing the rather beat-up looking red Power-Armored soldiers and robots that had arrived from the Government to deal with Godzilla. They piled onto red Endor-style speeders that were attached to an amusement park ride and lifted off, breaking free of the arms of the ride.</p><p> <p>&#8220;They don&#8217;t inspire much confidence,&#8221; said Grizelda.</p></p> <p>&#8220;So, what should we do now?&#8221; said Wonko.</p> <p>&#8220;We could go back to the &#8212; hey, wait, how did we get out of the house?&#8221; said I. My companions did not answer. We were certainly not slain by Godzilla&#8217;s might, and I certainly didn&#8217;t remember eluding him. The scales did the proverbial eye-thing, and I realized it was a dream. Abandoning my companions, I set about jumping off logs in order to fly. I think I managed to skim a little, and found myself in a hangar full of government types monitoring the Godzilla threat, with a Baskin Robbins team giving out samples in the corner. After eating some ice cream flavors I missed from my childhood but which never actually existed, I started attempting to fly again.</p><p><span class="caps">HOP</span>. Hop-glide-land. Hop. <span class="caps">HOP</span>. Hop-glide-rise&#8230;it was working! I swooped among the rafters, tried to increase my speed with various superheroic poses, accidentally flew backwards, and generally had a lovely time.</p><p>&#8220;What I really should do,&#8221; I thought, emboldened by my power, &#8220;is go defeat Godzilla.&#8221; Having read a lot of X-Men recently, I started trying to throw lightning bolts. Lemme tell you, Storm makes that look easy. It isn&#8217;t.</p><p>Still trying to shoot lightning out of my hands, I decided to find Godzilla first, and perform better under pressure. Somehow I thought that doing optic blasts would be <span class="caps">WAY</span> easier. I tried to ignore niggling thoughts of Godzilla&#8217;s atomic breath.</p><p>I swooped outside, flying low to the ground. On some bleachers outside, a person in a suit with a clipboard was interrogating Spike. Apparently he hadn&#8217;t made his evil quota. Swooping around the corner, I was sure I would come across Godzilla! But instead, I found some more suits mediating a conflict between Angelus and Darla over who got to write a specific situation report. I pouted and woke up.</p> <p>Who knows, maybe the suits were from the Government, and the Monster Department is well-named?</p>