Comments on "Kipple" - Faerye Net 2003-08-11T10:10:26+00:00 Re: Memory Drag 2003-08-11T10:10:26+00:00 2003-08-11T10:10:26+00:00 <p>I don&#8217;t mind making new people to do things for me. Sometimes the people I have around just aren&#8217;t much good at something I need to do. The problem arises when it&#8217;s someone that you don&#8217;t like. Everyone that you make has the opportunity to strangle, punch, kick, and flagellate your other people and jump in the driver&#8217;s seat and take over, and the more you use someone, the stronger they get.<br /> <br /> Maybe we&#8217;re really talking about getting old and boring and accepting the need to dip wires in flux for 12 hours a day. But quite frankly, if I ever have to do something I hate and that controls me on a regular basis for any really significant period of time, I think I&#8217;ll probably kill myself. Not that I think that&#8217;s a sensible reaction, but it&#8217;s just probably what I&#8217;ll do. Better than the alternative, right?</p> Rock Star Re: Memory Drag 2003-08-11T08:47:00+00:00 2003-08-11T08:47:00+00:00 <p>The child analogy is an excellent one, by the way.<br /> <br /> It&#8217;s odd. Matt tells me he&#8217;s so proud of me for not getting bitter and letting my job change me. But the real fact of the matter is, I just had to create a whole other person to do my job. I don&#8217;t like her. She is miserable all the time, goofs off as much as possible, and yet answers the phone with a chipper voice. I really hate this person. However, she keeps me from breaking down, quitting my job, or tainting my real self too much.<br /> <br /> Of course, I could be kidding myself&#8212;I could really just be becoming an irresponsible, insincere, hate-filled automaton. Isn&#8217;t that a cheery thought?</p> felicity Memory Drag 2003-08-11T01:09:31+00:00 2003-08-11T01:09:31+00:00 <p>Phil Dick always seems to pop up and make me feel worse when I feel the worst about my life. He points out to you when you&#8217;re feeling empty and alone that your life isn&#8217;t just dissatisfying, it&#8217;s a panoply of nightmares, and it&#8217;s run by invisible psychic vampires who will <i> never ever </i> let it change. But what a writer, eh?<br /> <br /> Having to work at a job where your labor all goes into something you don&#8217;t love is like raising a child you hate. It&#8217;s self-defeating, agonizing, and pointless. And sometimes you have to do it. And sometimes it eats little pieces of you. <br /> <br /> I spent this past week babysitting a group consisting mostly of tired, frustrated thirtysomething actors and visual artists from NYC. They work a lot of shitty jobs. And they can&#8217;t let them eat the important pieces of them. So most of them let their jobs eat their respective grips on reality.<br /> <br /> The world is scary.</p> Rock Star